body image / November 2015: Taboos

It's 2015, how are vaginas still a taboo?

It’s the 21st century and there are still some men out there who are squeamish around vaginas, so much so that going down on one is still considered a taboo. What the hell is up with that?

Recently, a dude named William Lloyd inadvertenly summarised why casual sex can suck for straight women. In a piece titled “Why I Don’t Go Down on Girls,” Lloyd explains that the very thing most women need to reach climax is too disgusting to practice and get good at.

Whilst it’s totally his prerogative not to perform sex acts he doesn’t want to, I can’t understand why. Lloyd describes his first experience of giving oral as a traumatising event. Claiming his eyes were “dry and itchy” the day after she ejaculated all over his face, he decides once is enough.

Do you now how many terrible blowjobs I, and probably thousands of other women, have had to endure before we got good at it? Do you know how many people have gagged and even thrown up on dicks just because we’re supposed to aim to please men whatever the cost? I’m guessing a fuck ton.

I, like many other women, can only climax via some tongue action. Achieving an orgasm is a pretty vital part of sex and important to me (because why wouldn’t it be?) and for that reason, I simply can’t date somebody who isn’t willing to go down on me or let me sit on their face. I know, I’m so selfish right?!

Let’s face it, men aren’t missing out on climaxing even if we take blowjobs out of the equation. The vast majority of men can climax through penetration alone. By refusing to go down on a woman you’re not only denying her an orgasm, you’re showing us you only care about yourself. So she ejaculated on your face, have you ever had to wash cum out of your hair? Or even worse, your eyes? If every girl who has ever given a bad blowjob stopped just because of one awful time, well.. there would be virtually no dick sucking going on.

I’m also a firm believer in being a good, attentive lover whether it’s on a casual basis, in a committed relationship, or on a one night stand. Part of that includes taking pleasure in giving pleasure. There’s nothing hotter than watching my guy have a good time whilst I’m down there doing my thing, and I’m certain he would say the same thing.

Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 09.57.34

Source: @sexetc

This is also part of a much larger problem too. Not only are people scared of vaginas, they seem to be woefully misinformed about them too. If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard a guy complain that a vagina he came into contact with was “too loose”, I would be a very rich lady. This attitude is mind numbingly stupid (because you want the person you’re having sex with to enjoy it and when they’re aroused, their vagina won’t be tight), it’s also really damaging. So damaging that labiaplasty, reducing the size of the labia minora, is on the rise. OB/GYN Jen Gunter writes: “Roughly 30 percent of women seeking labiaplasty say they’ve heard criticism about their vagina’s appearance.” On top of that, there seems to be a sudden influx of unnecessary feminine hygiene products too.

So on top of achieving a thigh gap and other beauty standards, we need to worry about our saggy, smelly vaginas too! Because the patriarchy says so.

We’ve got to stop making women feel bad about every inch of their body. There’s no such thing as an ugly vagina and it doesn’t need to look a certain way. The only thing you need to clean your vagina is water. The vagina is pretty amazing, its musculature is essentially elastic. It naturally contracts and resumes its normal size and shape after sex and giving birth.

Quit making us feel bad for “demanding” wanting to orgasm and get clued up on vaginas. It’s 2015, people.



17 thoughts on “It's 2015, how are vaginas still a taboo?

  1. Brilliant stuff, as always. Particularly the paragraph about being a good attentive lover: There is nothing sexier than seeing the pleasure you’re giving somebody else. Why the hell would you *not* want to?!

    (but FYI, as a former teenage boy, I can confirm that due to hormones, lonely nights, and bad aim – guys *do* know what it’s like to have to wash cum out of your hair!)


  2. You know what vaginal taboo is? It is the self-entitled crap that some men spew in order to make themselves feel superior and it has been happening since the beginning of time. We are criticized for the way that we dress, act and think and it is because they feel threatened. Vaginas are powerful and don’t let anyone tell you any different!


  3. I absolutely loved this post!! Thanks for talking about this taboo, we women need to be more open about this subject. Who cares what it looks like, if the guy your with respects you then he wont care either. If he does have a problem with it, just show him where the door is


  4. Well said!!!
    I overheard my husband tell a mate…. Well, if you want something, go down on her, she’ll absolutely love it, you’ll love it, and then it’s happy days…..
    He’s right!!


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