October 2015: Sexuality / sexism

Reclaiming The Word 'Slut'

SLUT. You probably hate the word and in fairness so do I. It’s thrown around a lot (by both men and women), when we come across somebody who is fiercely confident about their sexuality. It’s something we often fear being labelled and this fear can stop us from having fun.

Men are never branded a slut and they don’t really have an equivalent. Let’s face it, any equivalent comes in the form of positive reinforcement. The actual definition of the word ‘slut’ is:

“A woman who has many casual sex partners.”

It’s worth noting the mention of gender here. Woman, not man. If a man has many casual sex partners he is respected. The woman in question is ultimately shamed for having more than one sexual partner.

slut

There doesn’t even need to be various partners either, I’ve witnessed slut-shaming when I’ve been sleeping with just one person. It also doesn’t have to be on a casual basis either. Ultimately if you’re a woman who enjoys sex – you’re a slut. It doesn’t matter if you’re having sex with one or twelve people, if you’re comfortable with your sexuality it’s a bad thing. We are immediately shamed for owning your sexuality, recognising your needs and doing something about it.

I’ve been called a slut (amongst other things) my entire life and I’ve started to wear it like a badge of honour. If by slut, you mean a woman who enjoys sex in a healthy and shame-free way then yes, I’m a big ol’ slut. I love having sex and I don’t care who knows it because that’s the way it should be. If I’m being safe, which I am, how do my decisions affect you?

Nobody should feel bad about having sex and it’s about time we stop punishing women for being sexual creatures. It’s time to stop judging women on the clothes they wear, how many people they sleep with or how many selfies they take. When you’re mad about these things, you’re mad at women for simply existing. When we dismiss young girls home from school, you’re sending the wrong message. You’re reinforcing a harmful stereotype that we are merely sexual objects that distract men. When you’re raging about selfies and calling us vain, you’re showing you’re angry at us for moulding our own representation. When you’re calling a woman a slut, you’re telling her she isn’t entitled to sexual pleasure.

Sex is a healthy, normal and really fun thing that can be joined in or outside of a relationship. What doesn’t suit you, may suit somebody else. Why waste your energy shaming other people for their decisions when you could be focusing on yours? You’ll be a lot happier in the long run.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Reclaiming The Word 'Slut'

  1. Pingback: Sex With Younger Men Is Great, Here's Why - Zusterschap

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s