I hope you’re all enjoying this month’s theme as much as we are!
We’re a big fan of Mel’s fiction and for this month’s theme, she has written a piece on losing your virginity.
Oh God, her tongue is in my mouth. It’s in there alright; soft, wet and juicy. She pulls back slightly and runs her tongue along my lips. It takes me a moment to realise the rest of the group are staring at us, starting to giggle. We both sit down and I start to fiddle with the toggle on my Nirvana hoodie. I glance around for the bottle of vodka, willing it to get around the circle faster. There’s a tingling in the pit of my stomach, well… maybe lower. Tonight is the night. My parents get back in two days, this is the last of the parties. It has to happen tonight. I glance around the circle. In all honesty, there aren’t many I wouldn’t fuck. Jen, Ali, Simon; boy or girl, I don’t mind. I aim to try both. So what? All of my mates are bi.
Jen spins the bottle again. I hold my breath and feel that pressing urge, that stir in my combat trousers again. It slows to a halt and lands on Kat; hell yeah! The two girls move into the middle…and then the doorbell rings. I huff and push up to my feet, glancing back over my shoulder. At the door stands Ben, wearing his usual baggy stuff, smelling as if he hasn’t washed in weeks. But wait… he’s brought a friend.
‘This is Thad,’ he mumbles.
‘Hey,’ I nod.
Don’t stare, don’t stare. I can hardly help it, he’s so hot. He’s got long sweeping hair, and eyeliner. God, I love guys in eyeliner. Thad squeezes past me in the hallway with a sly smile. Noticing his Pearl Jam t-shirt I head straight to my CD player to find a Pearl Jam album. I take my place again in the circle and beckon the vodka round, it is mine after all, well… my parents’ really. I’ll fill the bottle with water and put it back in the cabinet tomorrow. They never drink the bloody stuff anyway. Thad and Ben join the circle. Thad’s jeans are hanging so low I can almost see pubes. Fuck.
I should admit, I never actually been with a boy before. In fact, I’ve never actually been with anyone before. I mean, I know how it’s done and all, I’ve watched so much porn I reckon I’ve got it down.
‘Whose turn is it?’ I ask. ‘I think one of our late-comers should go, what being late and all.’ I flash a cheeky grin at Thad.
Everyone’s getting too drunk and starting to trail off.
He takes the bottle, eyes fixed on me as he spins it. I hold my breath. The chatter around the group fades as it slows past Ali, Jay, Goodson, Kat… and it’s my lucky day.
I wake the next morning, Thad next to me with one leg out of the covers. The room is stuffy with the smell of semen and sweat. I smile to myself. I feel a bit sore; that’s probably normal, right? It’s a good soreness, symbolising my passage into adulthood or whatever. But in all honesty, I’d expected a little more. I’m not sure why, it just seems like you’re meant to be awarded a certificate or something. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be doing it a lot more, but it is a little-overrated.
I get up and pull on my slouchy jumper and shorts. I find Ben asleep in the bath, a streak of vomit down the side. I take a long piss, but he doesn’t even stir. In the lounge, empty bottles line the mantelpiece. Goodson and Ali are sleeping on the floor, the throw from the couch over them. They seem fully clothed, but I bet he tried it on. Ali’s way too innocent to give her virginity up to a guy like him. In the kitchen, Jay is asleep on a piece of burnt toast. I flick the kettle on and he stirs.
He blinks at me. ‘Morning.’
‘Nah mate, I’ll puke. Just water.’
I rinse out a pint glass and fill it from the tap.
He downs it almost in one. ‘So… was last night the night? Lost your V-plates finally?’
I nod, searching for a clean mug.
‘Hell yeah,’ he stands up, raising his hand.
I know this means I need to high-five him, but for some reason I don’t move. ‘It’s no big deal really.’
‘What? Of course it is. You’ll remember this for the rest of your life.’
‘I suppose…’ I say, putting three heaped spoons of coffee in my mug.
‘So was he crap then?’
‘No, it’s not that…’
‘Might you have preferred it with a girl?’
‘Dunno, guess I’ll find out. Losing your virginity is always made out like you join this kinda club, you know, where everyone knows the same secret.’
‘It’s no secret. Sex is fun, that’s it.’
‘How did you feel after your first time?’
‘Well, just ok I suppose. I was out with my brother and he talked me into shagging this girl in the toilets. Surprisingly, she wanted to, but it wasn’t her first time though so I guess that’s ok.’ He laughed to himself. ‘My brother, the fucker, told Dad the next day. But he came up to me and gave me a beer, like I’d achieved something.’
‘Did you feel any different though?’
‘No, but it felt like he saw me in a different way.’ He put on a mocking deep voice. ‘Like I’d become a man.’ He laughed but it quietly died out as he glanced up at my frown. ‘It’s all a load of bollocks really.’
I stare down into my mug of black sludge. ‘Can’t imagine it’d be the same for me. My parents would be furious. They always say you’ve got the wait for ‘the one.’ That’s not even just them though; it’s on TV, in films, everywhere…’
He cocks his head with a slight nod and chews on his lip.
‘It sucks being a girl,’ I shrug.
Author. Blogger. Screenwriter. Feminist. Likes cooking, yoga and cinema but not all at the same time.